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Dating And Relationships
Is it love or security?
Sometimes we want to get together with someone for reasons of financial security instead of love. When women like a man for this reason it's called a sugar daddy or gold digger. For men the phrase is about seeking a sugar momma. The daddy part often means it's an older man and someone in a
protective role. While security feels good, it is not the same as love. Security is not the reason to form a committment with someone for life.
Are you dating to be spoiled and pampered by someone? Are material acquisitions, fine dining and luxurious living the main motives you have? If so, what is the reason behind this? Do you dislike work or lack the confidence to get a good paying job? Are you someone who likes a free ride? Remember there is a price to pay for a situation like this. The sugar momma or daddy may expect romantic favors,will want you to be their "trophy" or assume you won't be able to be your own person. Thought the enticement of gifts can be nice, there is also a cost.
There are actually sugar daddy websites that teach women how to meet wealthy men, marry a millionaire and be treated as a princess. The sites appeal to men who are busy executive, looking to pamper someone and want someone that is looking for an old fashion type of relationship. Men can also seek a sugar momma on some of these sites and find someone who will take care of them so they can stay at home.
Many people are not comfortable with regarding a relationship as a business transaction and want there to be true love rather than a contractual agreement. Spend some time thinking about the difference between love and security and look deeply at your choices.
I can't find "The One"
Sometimes you can feel that you've been in the dating game for years and years and that you are no closer to finding "the one" than when you were young. It is important to look at what your criterion is for the perfect relationship. The debate has been going on for centuries as to whether each of us has a soulmate.One thing to look at in your life is whether or not you have a committment problem generally. Is it hard to be definite with plans with friends, stick with a job or stay focused on projects? Some people have been characterized as a bee needing to taste all the flowers.
There's a line in a popular song that says, "Like a worn-out recording of a popular song" when he speaks of his fantasy of a new person and frustration in his current relationship. Do things wear out for you quickly? If so, is there a way to see the newness and freshness of each moment rather than constantly to need new experiences?
Commitment IS a serious issue and one requiring a lot of thought. However, if you are someone who finds they can't stick to work, plans and relationships then that area needs to be examined in more depth as it is a pattern that may sabotage not only relationships but other aspects of your life.
Life After Divorce
After a divorce it's natural to feel disoriented and possibly suffer loss of confidence. You may be saddled with new financial responsibilites, increased parenting tasks and more household work. Add to this dealing with feelings of aloneness, unresolved issues towards your ex and often less free time than before and you can be quite overwhelmed.First of all don't beat yourself up, but realize that you are handling a lot more responsibilites and it will take time to get the new patterns down. Give yourself a little bit of time on weekends to see friends so you can have some support.
If you need individual or group counseling to help sort things out, this can also be quite helpful. You will make it and will adjust to all these changes and become a much stronger person. Believe in yourself.
Compromise
Can Make
Your Relationship Work
Sometimes you can have a very close connection with your spouse or
partner but find there are a few tough issues that make you miles
apart. For instance, Sam loves to kick back after work, immediately get
into his slippers and watch tv or dvds till bedtime. Linda feels she
can relax best by taking a long walk outdoors and then head to a
bookstore to have coffee and read magazines. She wants Sam to join her
in this activity but he feels he was out all day at work and now wants
to be at home. When there is a difference like this, there are various ways to compromise. If Sam would just be dragging himself in the evening outside of the house then it would not be enjoyable for Linda and they can instead decide on weekend activities to do together outside of the home. On weeknights, Linda can work something out with exercise in local classes or with friends. They can also have a one night a week trade. For instance, Sam can take a walk with Linda one night during the week and she can agree to rent a
dvd with him to watch together for another work night.
Communication is key to not let bitterness grow and to come up with creative ways to bridge the different tastes and preferences we each have. Although we like the expression "Viva la Difference" it isn't always to
live with someone who has a different point of view.
Put Some Spice Into Your Relationship
It is natural that over time familiarity will set in and there won't be that "new" feeling with your spouse or loved one. The honeymoon phase has to end and we can fall into habits of inattention rather than working on our relationship. What's the antidote to this?If you feel you've fallen into a rut with your partner, don't despair but take some steps to rekindle your connection. This can take different forms such as planning a meal out, having a massage night where you each give the other a half an hour massage or reading a book together at a bookstore over a cup of java. Surprise can be exciting too: a surprise gift, even something small like champagne and chocolate, or a surprise weekend getaway, can do wonders.
Also take some interest in your partner and ask him or her about their childhood or things they may have mentioned in passing but never went into in depth. Everyone loves to be heard and to share . Don't see things with old eyes but see the person in front of you as new and your relationship will grow and deepen.
How to Be Irresistable To Women Or Men
"Who Else Wants to Discover the Powerful,Step-By-Step Secrets of How to
Meet, Attract, and Create a Lasting and Fulfilling Relationship With the
Kind of Person You've Always Wanted?
-- Even if You're Shy or Don't Think
You are Good Looking!"
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