Safe Online Dating

Safe online dating is becoming a very important issue to consider.  More and more people are turning to online personals and online dating sites to meet new people.  Sometimes you might feel comfortable with people you meet online,  because you can see a photo and read the essay they write before having a conversation. And after a long string of conversations with someone, you might feel you know them better, before having to meet them in person.  

It is helpful to exchange emails before meeting someone in person or having a phone conversation. In the emails you can explore your interests and check for compatibility. But a word of caution is worthwhile here.  Not everything you read in a profile or an email may be true.  And we don't just mean someone's weight!  As we hear too often, teens are sometimes taken advantage of because they are not cautious, but it's becoming clear that adults can fall into the same trap.  

Asking questions in the initial emails can help you to determine if you want to get to know the person better.  Photos can be out of date and a conversation is a better way to assess a situation. Sometimes we can get into our own fantasies in ongoing emails and not really see the "real person" behind them.  So even though you might be excited about meeting someone new, try to also keep a clear head until this person is no longer a stranger to you.

When talking to someone for the first time on the phone, you may consider using caller block if you are a female contacting a male so your phone number is not revealed.  If you can, do a quick reverse phone search for someone online.  Go to http://www.reversephonedirectory.com, and type in the phone number they've given you.  If the phone is a land line or listed, you will get the name and address registered to the phone, which could be helpful.

If you do decide to meet your new online friend in person, you should always have the first meeting, or even the first several meetings, in a public place such as a bookstore, mall or coffee shop.  Be sure you've left information with a friend or relative about where and when you are meeting, and a description of the person if possible.  While you may not know exactly what the person looks like before meeting them, at least you are leaving some information in case you run into problems later.

And it's best to avoid alcohol on the first meeting or two - getting someone drunk to take advantage of them is the oldest trick in the book, made worse with the availability of "date rape" drugs.  Go someplace where there are a lot of people, so you can make a different choice if things don't go as you planned.  

Of course you want to expect the best of people, and enjoy meeting someone new.  But be smart too, and give yourself options to protect yourself until you are sure that your date is as wonderful as you expected.